Bloggish Day 7 – We’re Expecting!

Bloggish Day 7 – We’re Expecting!


Bloggish Day 7 – Yes, the above is actually a recent picture that was taken.  Yes, it was dated October 25, 2016.  Yes, the photo is from Elizabeth’s tummy.

Yes, life is going to change again.  And soon.

Right when we finally sold all our baby stuff.  I mean, we did procrastinate for a while.  Julian turned 8 years old earlier last year, and we sold his stroller on Craigslist around that same time.  We’re just thankful that they don’t go out of style — and with our luck, we’ll probably wind up buying it back off of someone on Craigslist.  We don’t really mind.  We’re cool like that.

So baby supplies, such as diapers, baby wipes, milk bottles, onesies, baby car seats.  Oh, the list can be endless.

I think when Megan was a newborn, we even had one of those diaper baggie machines — which helps bag the used diapers in a tight plastic bag while disposing it, into a larger plastic bag.  Utter baby supply marketing.  In other words, only applicable for over-protective, over-supplied parents.  We used it like twice.

Don’t judge.

But I am excited and nervous at the same time.  If this was even possible, I’m not sure, but I think I am.  There is so much to look forward to and there is so much to worry about. Being an accidental parent — one without a plan, not opposed, but again, without a plan and just winging it.  Now that I am a parent, I just love it.  Absolutely.

I cannot imagine not being one… again.

Jan 6, 2017 No Comments
Bloggish Day 6 – More to Say…

Bloggish Day 6 – More to Say…


Bloggish Day 6 – Something about the frosty air here that just rekindles memoirs and creates new ones. Being winter time in the Northeast, New York City, to be exact, I find myself wearing a large bulky ski parka, with a scarf, hat and gloves. It’s not time yet to start snowing.  Maybe in another week or two.  But the air is sure crisp and chilled.  And when the wind gusts pass by, it can bite through the layers of coats and sweaters and feels like it will just freeze into your bones.  But when it’s still, although just for a few  moments, it’s as though the air just crystalizes into thin ice flakes.

Have to say, that this is the perfect whether for a warm cup of hot chocolate.  Taking a sip while stepping out into the crisp, frosty air for that first breath…

“There’s just so much more to say…”

Come back tomorrow and we’ll chat.

Jan 5, 2017 No Comments
Bloggish Day 5 – JeALoUSy!

Bloggish Day 5 – JeALoUSy!


Bloggish Day 5 – Elizabeth and I went to the gym today in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn. It was a pretty nifty place for they had a running track that surrounded the gym and enabled people like myself to prance around on a short track around the perimeter. It only measured about a tenth of a mile per lap, but it sure beat running on a treadmill, well sort of… until I glanced at Elizabeth below.

It wasn’t so much what she was doing, but instead, I found that there was this guy obviously, checking her out! And then approaching her!

…I found myself feeling a bit jealous! protective!

I’ve always thought that jealousy stemmed from some self insecurity, and I thought that our relationship, nearly 20 years now was very secure. But something just gut wrenchingly, ate me out from the inside of just the thought that she may entertain this guy in some, even friendly, way… Well, err…

Oh… my world would be destroyed. I don’t like this. 🙁

Jan 4, 2017 No Comments
Bloggish Day 4 – I don’t fit in.. I disappear

Bloggish Day 4 – I don’t fit in.. I disappear


Bloggish Day 4 – I don’t fit in and I disappear. I thought this was the old me, but it’s still the current me, I fear…

Earlier today, I was driving to the bagel shop mid-afternoon to pick up bagels and coffee for the family. Megan was with me and as usual, we started talking about how she was doing – with her school, her friends, whatever she wanted to discuss. As it turned out, not purposefully, but my mind was fried in knots thinking about my own affairs.

“…and your friends,” I continued, “You’re finding that you do need them, and you miss them, while we’re away from home for so long.”

“Yes,” she said.

“Are they’re mostly from the K-pop club at school?”


“What about your other friends?” I asked, “You’ve known them for a while now…”

“I still keep in touch,” she said, “Just not as often …But can I ask you something? It’s about being friends.”

“Of course,” I said, “Something going on?”

“…Not sure, sometimes, I don’t feel like I fit in… just sometimes. But I’m mostly an extrovert, but I still… don’t know if I belong… y’know, in some crowds. But I’m an extrovert, just like you. It’s easy for you to make friends…”

I interrupted, “I’m not an extrovert. I’m approachable. So, people talk to me. But I’m really an introvert who learned how to talk outwardly. Very different. Mommy says that when I’m quiet, I may appear a bit arrogant — especially when I don’t smile. But nothing is farther from the truth.”

It was quiet in the car for a moment. I had to think about what to share, but I was not prepared for what I stumbled upon.

“Megan, when I was your age, I’ve often felt like I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t handsome. I was skinny. I was geeky. I was not good at anything. And I was extremely shy. I just felt like I was not good enough — I didn’t fit in. Sometimes, these feelings… well, they stick with you and as you grow older, things do change, but that inner core, it’s always there.”

She let it all sink in for a minute.

“Daddy?” Megan asked, “Do you still feel this way.. like you don’t fit in sometimes?”

“Like at work?” I asked, “From time to time, but we’re free to change jobs…”

“Well, work…,” she interrupted, “…and other places too?”

Pausing for a second, “I do Megan. You’re right.”

“What do you do Daddy?”

I answered, “…You have to think why you may feel this way. Is it because you’re not free to speak your mind, or maybe because of specific people, or maybe you feel like you may not be good enough, or… Whatever the reason may be, you then decide what you need to do. To help remedy this. Nine times out of ten, it may be something inside ourselves to adjust.”

“But if that doesn’t work?” she ultimately asked.

I stayed quiet, my mind tied in knots… as I thought to myself, “I had to leave… I disappeared.”

Jan 3, 2017 No Comments
Bloggish Day 3 – Nightmares and slumber

Bloggish Day 3 – Nightmares and slumber


Bloggish Day 3 — I’m finding out today that its difficult to just let go. Every day for a while, I’ve always monitored Julian’s sleep. Being on vacation staying here at my parents’ place for the past week, we’ve all slept in the same room. And every time that Julian may just hesitate in his sleep, I’m jolted awake wondering if he’s okay…

He has nightmares every night for as long as I can remember. Sometimes, they are just small quivers that wake him. Other times, they may get violent — where he kicks and punches. Nonetheless, all the time, what calms him is that I hug him tight and let him know that Daddy is right here. This calms him back to a restful slumber.

I know the day is going to come that I need to let his non-quiet slumbers ride out, and their own resolutions will make be. He may be ready for this day… But, I just am not.. not just yet.

Jan 2, 2017 No Comments
Bloggish Day 2 – 2017 Resolutions

Bloggish Day 2 – 2017 Resolutions


Bloggish Day 2 – Driving in the car earlier, the whole family talked about what our New Years resolutions were going to be for 2017…

Megan: “I wanted to complete three songs, or at least two songs, by the time of the BTS concert on April 1st. This way, my trip to LA and the BTS concert will be my first blog video.”

Julian: “To visit every theme park I can! Disneyland, Legoland, everything-land. And eat all the candy I can!”

Elizabeth: “Number one – to take care of baby. Number two – to have a mommy makeover!”

Me: “Number one – to take care of baby. Number two – to write down the songs in my heart and head. Number three – play these songs live somewhere. Number four – not to limit myself fitness-wise. Train for a marathon.”

I’m just grateful that I think this year, I can try to get back on track. Last year, I had to take care of the work situation. Which is utterly important and foundational. As long as that’s cruising along now, time to progress along on other things.

Jan 1, 2017 No Comments

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