I Voted for Biden – Harris (It’s Personal. Very Personal)

I Voted for Biden – Harris (It’s Personal. Very Personal)

Election activities were just completed and after a harrowing amount of days counting votes, Joe Biden is the new President-Elect and Kamala Harris is the new Vice President-Elect. I could not be happier. Historically, this election yielded the most votes ever and this was probably because so many people felt as strongly about this election too. For me, it was personal. Very very personal.

I have to say that it was not so much what Biden – Harris stood for, but who and what ideals they stood against. You see, Trump, and all his ideals, for the last four years as President of the United States, really took on the form as one who utilized divisiveness as a tool to gain momentum for his own ideals. What this means is that he valued pitting people against each other. And he did so in the most vicious manner — enabling prejudices among Americans. Against Muslim Americans. Against Hispanic Americans. Against Asian Americans. Against African Americans.. the list continues.

Now why should I care? And I do. Very much so.

Because I was born and raised in this country, in New York City, and I have horrific memories of experiences that I wish I never had of while my childhood, where I have been beaten, chased, yelled “CHINK!” on numerous occasions all because I am Asian. And not from other kids. This is the sad part – yes, from adults as well. I learned to shrug it off. My parents would tell me to ignore people who treated me like this. To cross the street when I saw the bad people coming. To stay quiet and they’ll go away. As I grew older, they did eventually did. The world started changing. America started evolving. Like a sickly disease, mass racial prejudices eventually eroded into a bad memory. Did it scar me deeply? Do I cringe and take things a bit too personally if someone jokes about my race? It most certainly does.

But I have to say, it does bother me when I see the President of the United States, someone who is supposed to be my president act in a similar victimizing manner towards others? When I see supporters of Trump also who wear Maga caps yell racial obscenities toward others? Where I notice Trump not denounce, but instead, enable these acts? I have to say that it brings up these bad memories of mine and yeah, it surely fucking does bother me. Very much so. I take it personally. Very personally. It makes my blood boil.

And what do I think of many others who continue to support Trump? I rationalize and need to believe that my friends who support him, do so for other beliefs. Maybe for tax reasons or other policy enablements – this is honorable and everyone is entitled to their own positive opinions. Maybe they don’t have racial prejudice scarring and truly just want another stimulus check. I totally get it. A big thumbs up for you. But if you stood for divisiveness and racial prejudices and utilized Trump as your vehicle to hold this right — then this is just wrong.

Yes, I grew up with a pretty good childhood, with some vicious scarring memories — and I do feel the need to protect my children and enable their world to be a bit more bright.

So congratulations to President-Elect Biden and Vice President-Elect Harris – I anxiously voted for you and so very happy that you won. Know that your presence is greatly welcomed, appreciated, and anticipated.

Let this be the first sign of a positive 2021… cause 2020 has been just too freaky.

Pandemic Timings

Pandemic Timings

As I was progressing through my nightly routine, I realized I’ve started coming up close to completing my second bottle of Listerine – these huge bulk sized jugs that we get only a couple of times a year from Costco. Of course, this makes me reflect on where all the time has gone. As though “quarantining” meant that we were just frozen here for a few moments until this all passes over. Oddly enough, those few moments has now progressed to most of the year. And with that, some significant things have occurred during this time. Some good stuff… and some not so good stuff. But no one is going to argue that things now have forever changed, in one form or another.

Just thinking out loud.

“Please Ba.. if you can hear me…”

“Please Ba.. if you can hear me…”

Please Ba.. if you can hear me… I know I only speak to you on Sunday nights now. Right before bed. I come to the altar, light an incense, and in my own strange mind, feel that we’re connected again, and you can hear me. …Just like you always told me, that I can always come talk to you if ever I needed to.

And I do. I do Ba. I miss you so much.

You left us back in March. I know you had to go. I wasn’t ready yet, but I don’t know if I ever would have been. I just didn’t realize you would have to go so quickly.

This year, 2020, such a remarkable year as on the calendar. But it has been so different, so difficult for many, for me too. The world is upside down and nothing seems to be going right. The pandemic thing – its so hard on everyone and the toughest part is not being able to see Ma and Sister — this disease, the hardest part is the loneliness.

I miss you and love you so very much Ba. Please, if you can hear me… your son.

Red Eggs and Ginger for Keira

Red Eggs and Ginger for Keira

We arrived a little late — not purposely though as it took a few moments to gear up. Remembered the diapers, pacifiers, extra set of clothes.. stuff like that.  A roomful of attendees had already arrived before us as we entered the venue and so eager to meet her.  To meet Keira.  To say hello.  To say welcome to the world.  It seemed so ordinary — so Wonderfully and Gratefully ordinary.

This past weekend, we held a gathering to celebrate Keira’s first 100 days.  It was called a “Red Egg and Ginger” party.  And, it was kind of a big deal.  Yep, it was.

Let me start by saying that we have the most supportive and best friends in the world. We feel truly cared for and loved.  Being somewhat new to the San Francisco Bay Area, it was a reinvention of our environment and surroundings, and we’ve reached a point where we’ve been blessed by and surrounded with a truly caring network of friends.  When good things happen, they’re here to celebrate with us.  When things don’t go as expected, they’re here to hold us up until we’re able to stand again.  Truly blessed.

Planning for the event was challenging.   We teetered back and forth for a few weeks regarding the venue.  My preference was for a formal banquet where people suited up sitting at big round tables in some fancy restaurant while being fed luscious amounts of food.  And Elizabeth, well, she wanted a mind-blowing karaoke party to let off some steam.  And… we sort of met in the middle somewhere.  Alike crafting a sleek sculpture, whittling away at a piece of wood, we planned and prepared with the purpose to make the venue appear simple.  Symbolic in a way.  This is how we wanted it — just simple.  Create a scene where people can freely chat.  That’s it.  We wanted to spend some quality time with friends – and friends with each other. 

For our friends, it would be the first time they were to meet Keira.  And we were so grateful.  Friends whom came knew there wouldn’t be too much excitement — it wasn’t going to be a club scene or anything, and they were coming to the event for us, for our family.  You see, many of them knew what we have been through the past few months.  And they stood by us.  Kept us in their prayers, their thoughts, in their well wishes.  They wanted to be here for us and to finally meet Keira.  They got to hold her.  To take pictures with her.  To say hello and welcome her to the world.  

I mentioned the term symbolic previously.  It really was.  You see, our experiences in the past few months haven’t exactly been easy.  Things just haven’t really been normal.  It was difficult living in a hospital.  It was difficult worrying if our newborn will be strong.  And to an extreme, it was exhausting at times worrying if our family were to lose a member, or two, and trying to prepare accordingly.  This “Red Egg and Ginger” party, symbolically marked that this day moving forward where the stopwatch now resets — things will be Wonderfully and Gratefully ordinary.

We felt so truly blessed that Keira’s birth, and first 100 days went well.  And so truly blessed that we have truly caring friends.  Here’s to being ordinary! Onward! Cheers 🙂


Pictures are in random order (every time the page is refreshed)

PS – on a lighter note, we were planning to make a small speech during the event, but the time slipped by so fast.  Elizabeth said she prepared something, and I’m hoping to hear it, cause I know its something she probably rehearsed over and over again.  But she thinks I prepared something too.  Well, I did.. well sorta..  I am the master of “winging it”, but I do work with some structure — an outline.  Here, check it out:

  1. tell funny joke
  2. tell funny story
  3. tell another funny joke

Yep. That’s about it. 🙂

Our Month in the NICU

Our Month in the NICU

The last couple of months have been bit of a blur — an emotional rollercoaster. Visiting the hospital multiple times per day, the journey seemed endless, and truly tested our endurance of hope, of our love, and our family.

It was a blessing that after 32 weeks of pregnancy, Elizabeth gave birth to our new little one — Keira. And as great fortune has it, Keira, although born premature, was healthy, moreso than we had expected. And we were, of course, thankful. Keira couldn’t come home with us immediately after birth however. She needed to stay in the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit; the NICU, they called it for short. She had to learn and grow what she would’ve done if she was still in utero. And she was quite sensitive to the elements, and required constant monitoring, just in case something may happen, like forgetting to breathe — I know. It sounds scary. And believe me, it was.

Nurses and doctors cared for her around the clock constantly. We would visit the NICU multiple times daily. Every few days, the doctor would call and provide status — and our hearts paused every time the phone rang as we saw the NICU on the caller id.  As we visited Keira, we learned how to care for her. The nurses trained us how to monitor her vitals, how to perform specialized feedings, and just simply to hold her. The minutes, they turned to hours.  The hours turned to days. The days, they turned to weeks.

Keira learned how to survive without additional medications being pumped in by I.V.’s. She learned how to cope outside an incubator and survive in room temperature.  Her heartrate steadied to a normal pace and didn’t seemed so rushed anymore.  And finally, she had to learn how to be fed by mouth – without a feeding tube and continue to gain weight steadily. All along we would carry her, and talk to her. She would always look to us, quieting down, as though she tried to listen and understand.

“Keira,” we would say, “There’s a whole world outside of here. It’s beautiful. We can’t wait for you to see it. There’s this bright light in the sky, and there are green fields and mountains. I think you’ll love it. But I think you’ll need to learn how to drink from a bottle first okay? It’ll feed your tummy the same way. You’ll see. I think you can do it. You’re going to love it outside. You’ll see. You got this one baby girl… you got this…”

The next day – the nurses told us she was able to feed from the bottle consistently and pulled out her feeding tube all by herself. Two days after – Keira was discharged and now home with us. 🙂


(A special thank you to the friends and family that stuck by us — observed our need for privacy and reached out to us every now and then.  This was a truly difficult and trying series of events in such a wonderful time as the birth of a newborn.  We withdrew from functions, gatherings, work, social media as well as most outward communication.  But it was so wonderful to hear from others every now and then.  It may not seem so much, but it made a whole world of difference.  We do feel cared for and so truly blessed.  And from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you).

Welcome home Keira!! 🙂

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