Reality-The first few days of this vacation has been fun for me. We saw a few places, and met lots of relatives, and as explained earlier, the break served sort of a purging for me. Not like one had something to do with the other, but in this case, it just happened during the same time. About the purging-whenever something intensive happens for a while, such as work, and a break comes along, a mental purge starts to occur for me. It usually comes out first in my sleep in the form of feverish dreams until I consciously notice something in my daily routine…just something.
During the relative's Christmas party, I was met up with many people whom I met last year. There was something different though, in me. Well, not so different as if something new: Different in the sense that it's just more intense now than before. It became most apparent when a cousin-in-law and I were chatting.
"And that's how it went?" I asked.
"Yeah, pretty much like that," he answered, "…"He said a few other words, but it didn't really lead to any new conversation. He wasn't really attempting to end the conversation either. We were both caught at an awkward moment were we just sort of smiled at each other and nodded, yeah..heheh. But this is when I noticed it. Alike the dream, I felt frozen-communicatively challenged alike my mouth open and nothing coming out. Not only did I not know what else to say, but I was frozen and the thoughts ran through my mind-what do I do now? What do I say? I look so stupid. How do I get out of this situation?
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