Freakin' Maslow
Tonight was the first time when I felt the cloud of survival-needs lift slightly. Hopefully, it will continue, as aspects of my life return to a resemblance of some normality. I leisurely strolled up Columbus Avenue in the Upper West Side donning only shorts, a short sleeve shirt and my Nike sandals. I sauntered gradually as people rushed around me in what seems like a panicked pace. I looked into the windows of shops and high-rise apartments only to see the glow of living room ceilings. The only people that noticed me were those in restaurants, whom sat at their tables patiently awaiting their dinners to arrive. Some of them smiled. Others just looked away as soon as I noticed their stare.
Today, my second day of work, I felt the confidence and self-assurance of having had made the right decision of moving back here, slide back into my psyche. After weeks of attempting to find work, I had managed to finally land a six-month consulting assignment doing what I want to do. All that is left in me is the nervousness that the client will be happy with my performance-relatively minor compared to my previous nervousness of not finding any work.
Life, as we know it, is different for Elizabeth and myself in comparison to when we were in Rochester. There is no house. There is not even an apartment yet. Most of our conveniences and personal space has been temporarily sacrificed, almost as though having been put away as an investment for greater long term benefits. Grateful to my parents, they have graciously allowed us to reside with them at their residence until we find suitable housing of our own. I am a believer in some derivative of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. The month of July has been filled with activities such as completing the incorporation process, finalizing wedding plans, adjusting to a big city, and making traveling arrangements-all while Elizabeth calms me during my ego-deflating journey of job hunting. Each day that passed, I felt the upper layers of the pyramid evaporate, exposing the underlying layers to be whisked away like dust in the wind. I had reached the near-bottom layer, just above where food and water is noted for survival. I found myself not to be as emotionally whole without having a source of income to provide shelter for me and my loved one.
But, my perseverance and stubbornness overruled and having strove ahead with Elizabeth's support, gave me the energy to interview real well, and I landed three paces in front of where I had begun in terms of monetary rewards. Thus, is mostly needed time too-right before the wedding.
September eighteenth and September twenty-fifth are the dates-both of them. The first will be in New Orleans where Elizabeth, family, and I will commence in the first part of our Taoism ceremony followed by a Vietnamese style banquet. The later date will conclude the ceremony in New York City followed by a Chinese style banquet. The major part of July was filled with activities of marriage preparations here in New York City and just this past Wednesday, Elizabeth flew back to New Orleans for the remainder of the summer to complete the wedding preparations in New Orleans. I will see her again come the first wedding day.
And honestly, I miss her already. After having someone around with you daily for a duration, we learned how to play together, subconsciously set up our own rituals, we have grown to emotionally depend on each other. If nothing more than just to end the day with a hug would make everything feel complete. But I am calm. I know that the next time we meet, it will be the start of something truly great.
The fantasy slowly lifts as the reality steadily seeps in.
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