3.1.99
Mood - I have a peeve.
Elizabeth informed me of something earlier today that angered me a bit-a slight nagging feeling since its initial transcendence into my mind to an unvindicated itch that annoys me, oh so much.
A couple of years ago, I used to hang out with a particular friend. We will call her Jackie for the sake of anonymity. Of course, this is not her real name. I used to hang out with a particular friend named Jackie. Things were pretty cool most of the time; platonic of course. We all usually hung out in a group of friends for the most part: Most of which, I have fond memories. Thus, is good.
But admittedly so, Jackie does run a slight streak of jealousy at times. Not the type of lovers vs. lovers, but that of friends vs. friends. Friendship can be both a passion and slightly a burden to some. I knew this. I was never this way though and always played with a different set of rules. If people did not get along too well as close friends all the time, then I figured space and distance were the key. I never really thought too much of this. It was always intuitive.
And, this is what happened when Jackie and I hung out too much. I became a little stressed out, for I felt that too much was really being asked of me; help here, help there… too much. So naturally, I just distanced myself. Brush hands-no mess, no mess.
There were haphazard conversations between Jackie and me with wanting to work it out, etc., but I did not feel it was worth the effort. I have a rough enough time with intimate relationships, the burden of working things through, in a therapeutic sense, did not seem to interest me. The solution, I figured, was just a little distance. No tremendous stressful situation-no need for one. Communications have been kept to a minimum since.
That was about two years ago.
One year ago, Elizabeth moves in with me, and I am happy as happy can be. I turn to a friend and say-Remember my words, Jackie is going to blame Elizabeth moving in as the excuse why I do not hang out with her anymore. Mark my words.
Rumors fly for a bit, and my theory reveals itself to be true. This is fine. It just offers assurance that my decisions were confirmed correct. Life flows onward as usual.
Present day.
While I was away to Dallas the last time, Jackie called and invited Elizabeth out with a group of people to dinner. That is nice of her-very nice. Keep in mind that Jackie and I do keep in touch once in a while. The part that angers me is that she announced to everyone that Elizabeth was the reason that I do not hang out with her and company anymore, leaving Elizabeth speechless, embarrassed and feeling slightly wronged.
There are those who are reading this, know of the situation, and also know Jackie - I have kept this quiet for a while, letting it go whenever I hear the rumors, but I am sick of it. I have never ever had so many hassles before from having to "deal" with a platonic relationship. You can convey this to Jackie if you wish, but if so, please also convey that I do not want to work this out. I just want everyone to *grow up*.
<Peev over>
